Heavyweight with a small man's game

When I first started to train Jiu-Jitsu I was about 13 years old. I was pretty tall for my age, but of course I was just a kid and I didn't have any strength yet. I always trained with adults, so I developed my guard and all the survival skills I could, including my flexibility. My best weapon was the triangle. My game developed a lot as I got older and continued to grow. By the time I was 16 I had added a lot of hook sweeps to my game using my big feet and when I got on top my favorite submission was the kimura. I weighed a lot for my age since I was tall, about 185 lbs. at 16, so the grown men my weight were always a lot stronger than me. I kept in my mind the essence of BJJ was that technique could beat strength and I always relied upon my technique. I looked for the technical solutions to any problem I ran into. As I got older, I got stronger, but my game was virtually the same and my mindset was always the same. Until I was a black belt, I always pulled guard looked for the sub or swept and then looked for the sub on top. My mindset was to always keep moving, never use too much strength or energy on one position, if it wasn't there I would move on to the next attack. This was good and bad. It was good because I developed a good and versatile guard & I had a lot different submissions that I liked to use. It was bad because I wasn't good at imposing my will, I would often lose to stallers or people who could slow the game down, or if I went against someone who was a little smaller, I would try to play at their speed and sometimes pay for it. Since I became a black belt I have worked hard to develop a better overall game, including more takedowns, better top pressure, and the ability to impose my will. I still feel good when I go against the bigger or stronger guys, it is like I am a little kid all over again. However, I still have the urge to move a lot and never force a technique, just like a small guy. I sometimes wonder what if I was 150 lbs. and how my game would match up with the best lightweights and featherweights in the world. I have had the pleasure of going against the best featherweight of this decade, Rubens "Cobrinha" Charles, on two different occasions. Because of the style of my game, I would prefer to be his size instead of 50 lbs heavier, as weird as that sounds. It is very hard to get inside the guard of someone that small and get control of their hips when you are so long and have so much space for them to work with. Along with a great guard, Cobrinha also has excellent balance and good pressure on top, all this accompanied with his athleticism and speed make him a very difficult match for any heavyweight. There is also the David vs Goliath thing, where everybody wants the smaller guy to win. Cobrinha has a lot of fans, myself included, and I can understand why they would want him to beat me, so you kind of have to be the bad guy. I won our first match with two sweeps to one, getting my last sweep with just seconds left on the time. Our second match, Cobrinha was able to play his guard first and get ahead on the score and I lost by one sweep. I should have tried to slow him down more and use my strength, but I resorted back to old habits and I tried to play a beautiful, technical game. It was still a good experience and I give a lot of props to Cobrinha, he has beautiful Jiu-Jitsu. Maybe one day I will have a son who will be a lightweight and I can see how a smaller version of myself does.